Thursday, March 19, 2015

Top 10 Reasons To Identify As Autistic-Dyslexic

1. Your inherent lack of coordination will cause your parents to seek out alternatives to traditional sports. And let's face it, some of those alternatives are pretty darn cool.



2. Most people need to fit eye-reading around their busy schedules. Ear-reading, on the other hand, allows you to devour 2-3 books a week. (Making you one of the most well-read people in the room.) Bonus: you can listen to audiobooks while shooting arrows Katniss-style.

3. When people want to know the truth to tricky questions like, "Do these jeans make me look fat?" they can ask you, confident in your honesty. They can also trust you not to cheat. (Or at least confess if you do....)


4. Technology: you get to use a lot of it.

5. You're an expert on your obsession du jour.


6. The journey to find "your thing" leads you through all manner of experiences and exposes you to countless opportunities. You get tested, you get challenged, and you find answers.

7. You learn to work very, very hard.


8. Someday when your significant other begs to watch a foreign film (with subtitles), you have a legitimate reason to tell her no. Lucky you!

9. You're unpretentious. You're not superficial. What you see is what you get. It's refreshing.

10. People underestimate you. (But you know better.) This means you can surprise people (or not) at will.


Bottom line is, autism and dyslexia are high walls to scale, but check out the amazing view at the top. It's beautiful up here.

Friday, March 6, 2015

The Hostest Writes A Postest

I love entertaining...well, I like the idea of it anyway. When push comes to shove, hosting events can be downright nerve-racking. But over the years I've mellowed out and learned a few tricks. For example, now not every room in my house need be spotless before visitors arrive. (And if you've already seen my house once, I won't knock myself out to scrub it for your second perusal.)

In fact, here's an untouched shot of what you'd find on a typical day at my home. Say, like, if you stopped by today.

Paper piles are the bane of my existence.

But I recall my first dinner party years ago. I was newly married, living in an apartment, and only beginning to take an interest in cooking. I didn't realize that a host must be organized in order to pull off a meal for six. The whole affair went a little something like this:

  • Invite friends over for the coming Saturday.
  • Look at a few cookbooks to get recipe ideas. Settle on one Friday night: Chicken Corn Chowder. That's it. Just Chicken Corn Chowder.
  • An hour before friends come, go to the grocery store to pick up the necessary ingredients.
  • Arrive back at my apartment just as friends are showing up.
  • Freak out. I haven't even begun cooking anything yet!
  • Welcome friends inside. Find out that one friend won't eat corn, and another won't eat chicken.
  • Set three pots on the stove: one for Chicken Corn Chowder, one for Corn Chowder, and one for Chicken Chowder. Begin making all three variations at once.
  • Figure out what to serve on the side. I think I have some bread around here! And water. Perfect.
  • Oh yeah, I guess I should set the table too.
  • Oops, there's not enough room for us all to fit comfortably. Cram 'em in!
  • When everyone is starving, set the food on the table and eat.
That dinner party fiasco taught me valuable lessons that I never forgot. I entertain at least once a month these days, and my routine looks nothing like the list above. Allow me to share my new normal:
  • Invite friends over for the coming Saturday.
  • Ask them if they have any food allergies or dietary requirements that I should keep in mind. 
  • Select a theme for the menu well in advance: Asian, Latin, African, Classic American...consider how adventurous (or not) my guests are. Then scour the internet for ideas-- or even more fun, the library!
  • Some favorite recipe spots: Epicurious, Martha Stewart, The Pioneer Woman, America's Test Kitchen and Food Network.
  • Start with one must-make recipe and build the menu around that. (Whether it's a side, main dish or drink matters not.) 
  • Disregard recipes that do not contain a "make-ahead" element. If I want to be relaxed in the kitchen when guests arrive, I need to step away from the stove.
  • Typically, I include a main dish, a vegetable side, a starch side, a fruit side (optional), a drink, and dessert. Sometimes I make it fancy, sometimes I make it simple. I like both.
  • Grocery shop 1-2 days before the party.
  • Prep all I can the day before.
  • Set the table the morning of.
  • Time dinner so that it's ready 15-20 minutes after my guests are due to arrive. (I find most people show up late.) Make appetizers available for the early birds.
Two ending thoughts: 
  • I rarely request guests bring an item for a meal at my home. You are my guests. Don't fight me on this, people, Miss Manners has my back. Of course, exceptions may apply in certain circumstances. For instance, an impromptu potluck with family or friends, major holidays (my mom doesn't deserve to be stuck making everything), or a jointly-hosted affair.
  • And secondly, I still bomb, despite my years of experience. Just ask the members of my small group. (Two words: Pad Thai.) But I don't let mistakes bother me. In fact, those times make for some of the best stories and/or learning experiences. And the pizza delivery guy is always just a phone call away.

So be brave! Invite someone over for dinner this month. It's a lost art. Revive it, and reap the rewards!